actually, I'm a sock model
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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