I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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