She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
