Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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