i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
