kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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