So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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