Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
