I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
