is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
