What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
