I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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