I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
