There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
