my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
