at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
