so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
