But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
