My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
where does the pee come out of this thing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
