I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
