I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
