that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
