I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your penis caused this!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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