i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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