I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
