So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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