I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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