She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
