is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
