Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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