I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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