Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
