Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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