im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
