I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
