You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
