I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
