i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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