youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
