Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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