I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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