Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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