ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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