Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize