You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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