i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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