What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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