he wants to bone in the snuggie
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
