Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
being pregnant is like rehab
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize