And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize