You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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