I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I checked into jail on foursquare
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
