well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
As shirtless as possible
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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