She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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