You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
