TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
40s are totally the cure
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
