my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
