I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
