it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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