Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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