Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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