our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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