she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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