hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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