Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
