oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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