He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
