Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
