every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
